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dcawrey
dcawrey
8/15/2016 2:55:45 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Attention
"So, for the budget... Are you guys even paying attention to me? You don't have your cameras rotated in my direction."

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mhhf1ve
mhhf1ve
8/15/2016 3:02:09 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Caption A
"Unfortunately, my camera broke this morning, so I had to come here in person..." 

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mhhf1ve
mhhf1ve
8/15/2016 3:04:10 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Caption B
"I'm here so that if any of you speak out of turn, I will place some masking tape over your camera lens. Understood?"

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mhhf1ve
mhhf1ve
8/15/2016 3:09:20 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Caption C
"Flu season started early this year, eh? I appreciate everyone trying not to spread their germs, but we really could have re-scheduled this meeting...."

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vnewman
vnewman
8/15/2016 3:44:06 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Attempt to beat Joe #1
"All in favor say aye...errr...raise your hand...ugh, nevermind."

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elizabethv
elizabethv
8/15/2016 7:13:58 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Attempt to beat Joe #1
I feel like I'm being watched.....

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elizabethv
elizabethv
8/15/2016 7:14:56 PM
User Rank
Platinum
elizabethv
So..... any good theories as to who Neagen killed on TWD?

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elizabethv
elizabethv
8/15/2016 7:15:55 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Another
I thought management said they wouldn't be micro-managining us as much this quarter.

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elizabethv
elizabethv
8/15/2016 7:16:54 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Come On
Come on you guys, I took a shower last night, I swear!

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DHagar
DHagar
8/15/2016 8:06:03 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Cartoon Contest
"OK - all cameras focused on me!"

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DHagar
DHagar
8/15/2016 8:10:07 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Cartoon Contest
"Welcome to the Virtual Neural Network- we look forward to your contribution of brain cells and vitual presence!"

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DHagar
DHagar
8/15/2016 8:12:17 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Cartoon Contest
"The team that networks together stays together!"

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DHagar
DHagar
8/15/2016 8:13:42 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Cartoon Contest
"Please pass the coffee and cookies!"

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batye
batye
8/15/2016 8:52:47 PM
User Rank
Platinum
video reality
are we all on... 

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/15/2016 10:44:50 PM
User Rank
Author
1
"Frank, you're making a scene."

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faryl
faryl
8/23/2016 5:41:14 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Stop weighing in
No, I haven't been putting on weight - the camera adds 20lbs

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faryl
faryl
8/31/2016 11:11:07 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Attendance is great!
Good to see virtually everyone showed up for today's meeting!

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afwriter
afwriter
8/16/2016 1:20:07 AM
User Rank
Platinum
I Bet
I bet you are all wondering why I called this meeting...

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afwriter
afwriter
8/16/2016 1:26:58 AM
User Rank
Platinum
hologram
The funny thing is...I'm a hologram.

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clrmoney
clrmoney
8/16/2016 10:42:32 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Cartoons
This is hilarious camera video on a cartoon.

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Ariella
Ariella
8/16/2016 2:48:49 PM
User Rank
Author
Re: Cartoons
May I have your attention, please? Turn your lenses this way.

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DHagar
DHagar
8/16/2016 1:48:05 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Cartoon Contest
"At last - true diversity!"

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Ariella
Ariella
8/16/2016 2:49:54 PM
User Rank
Author
Re: Cartoon Contest
I appreciate your presence, virtual though it may be.

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Ariella
Ariella
8/16/2016 2:51:07 PM
User Rank
Author
Re: Cartoon Contest
I'm glad my presenation is camera-ready.

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Michelle
Michelle
8/16/2016 4:03:22 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Greetings
Uh, hello everyone. Is my mic on?

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Michelle
Michelle
8/16/2016 4:04:37 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Surplus
IT must have had a budget surplus this quarter -- I expected one teleconference camera.

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mpouraryan
mpouraryan
8/16/2016 8:00:58 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Surplus
All are quite interesting and enlightening--I am a little "Slow" this month--trying to still grasp it--maybe i have been 'multi-tasked" out for the day :) 

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ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/16/2016 7:35:51 PM
User Rank
Platinum
# 1
Oops...My comment was meant for meeting# 2 !!!

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Michelle
Michelle
8/16/2016 7:40:34 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Here and now
Presence optional wasn't my best recommendation for these meetings...

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Michelle
Michelle
8/16/2016 7:41:35 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Meeting futures
I may have joined the wrong meeting today...

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ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/16/2016 7:43:40 PM
User Rank
Platinum
# 2
Team #3, Please have your translator ready...

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ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/16/2016 7:47:24 PM
User Rank
Platinum
# 3
Status check...Which meeting am i on? Kinda lost track of these cameras.

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mpouraryan
mpouraryan
8/16/2016 8:09:35 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: # 3
It is easy to lose sight of all that you've got going on--as long as one is smiling :) :) 

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ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/16/2016 10:24:51 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: # 3
@mpouraryan: That is so true. At times I get lost in dial in meetings that run long. Thanks to all of our multitasking skills. So I can only imagine with these multiple video meeting scenario.

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mpouraryan
mpouraryan
8/17/2016 1:21:04 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: # 3
One implicit goal of transformation has to be the avoidance of the very thing that we all lament--meetings about meetings.    What is comforting is to realize that it is now within our grasp as never before.

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faryl
faryl
8/31/2016 11:15:21 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: # 3
As long as the video is only one way, it's not so bad. Now, if the person speaking could also see me on video, that would be something different - no putting the call on mute so no one knows I'm also making lunch or feeding the cat while I listen! (And I'd have to make sure my hair is combed & no pj's for early Am calls!)

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mpouraryan
mpouraryan
8/16/2016 8:10:21 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: # 3 (My "Take" #1)
...Are we really on yet? 

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mpouraryan
mpouraryan
8/16/2016 8:22:45 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: # 3 (My "Take" #2)
..." maybe this "video" thing is not all its' hyped up to be"? 

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ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/16/2016 10:29:19 PM
User Rank
Platinum
# 4
Camera check...Micro Phone check..1  2  3, Sorry folks in eMeeting Room# 3, We are experiencing technical difficulties with cam# 3, meeting will have to be rescheduled !!!

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ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/16/2016 10:31:00 PM
User Rank
Platinum
# 5
I better get trained on minimal trouble shooting with these cameras to minimize down time.

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elizabethv
elizabethv
8/17/2016 6:18:46 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Believe
You guys never even pay attention to me when you're here in person, how do you expect me to believe you're paying attention now. Twenty dollars to the first person to email my secretary.

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JohnBarnes
JohnBarnes
8/17/2016 7:36:24 AM
User Rank
Platinum

I suppose you are wondering why I called you all here.

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JohnBarnes
JohnBarnes
8/17/2016 7:40:54 AM
User Rank
Platinum

Deep in the survival bunker, the last surviving bureaucrat recorded his presentation from all the chairs in the room. Later, after he had reviewed and transcribed all the recordings, he would compile the summaries, send himself an executive report, and hold another meeting to discuss it. But for now, his report on current stocks of canned rations, office supplies, and neckties was receiving the full attention it deserved.

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JohnBarnes
JohnBarnes
8/17/2016 7:48:28 AM
User Rank
Platinum
§
"Welcome again to the Dull Life Fantasy Network.  For all you cops, firefighters, soldiers, trial lawyers, surgeons, spies, astronauts, and power brokers out there, we've got a full day lineup of soothing meetings, paperwork, and things you barely need to pay attention to, and we pledge that, as always, it will never, ever be any different, or the least bit exciting. Kicking off the day, we have all the regular gang at 'Coffee and Donuts with People Who Tell Endless Stories About Their Families,' followed by Ken and Barbie in 'File My Report'..."

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faryl
faryl
8/31/2016 11:39:42 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: §
I bet that would actually be a hit in Norway! http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=242736480

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vnewman
vnewman
8/17/2016 11:28:42 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Attempt to beat Joe #2
I'm glad to see all of your cameras could make it today.

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vnewman
vnewman
8/17/2016 11:32:20 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Attempt to beat Joe #3
"Alright Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup."

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vnewman
vnewman
8/23/2016 12:34:18 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Attempt to beat Joe #4
Let's pan around the room and have everyone introduce themselves...

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vnewman
vnewman
8/23/2016 12:41:44 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Attempt to beat Joe #5
I don't suppose any of you have read "1984?"

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faryl
faryl
8/23/2016 5:29:59 PM
User Rank
Platinum
My Attempt to Beat Joe #1 :)
We've identified why the past several quarter's results were far worse than predicted. On a related note: as of today, rose-colored lenses are no longer permitted at company meetings.

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mhhf1ve
mhhf1ve
8/18/2016 3:55:42 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Caption D
"Sure, we could have set up this meeting without using a conference room at all, but we like to have a personal touch around here."

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JohnBarnes
JohnBarnes
8/19/2016 7:13:33 AM
User Rank
Platinum
¢
Welcome to Screen University's Online Education Program. I'm an actor playing Professor Putz, and this is the first video in our online digital humanities course, "The Surveillance Society."

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JohnBarnes
JohnBarnes
8/19/2016 7:15:54 AM
User Rank
Platinum
£
Welcome back for another week in Rules of Evidence. Today our warm-up question: How would you prove, using only the resources available to you right now, that I am wearing trousers?

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JohnBarnes
JohnBarnes
8/22/2016 7:37:36 AM
User Rank
Platinum

Ned's first gallery installation, "Cameras Looking Only At Other Cameras", was well-executed and drew numerous comments from critics and other artists, but to his disappointment, no one came to the gallery for the opening.

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jbtombes
jbtombes
8/22/2016 12:06:56 PM
User Rank
Platinum
missing something?
"...um, let's hold off for five minutes. I need you all to go back to your cubes and bring your display screens."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/22/2016 12:21:30 PM
User Rank
Author
10
"Given that I'm probably the only one here wearing clothes, I'll start."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/22/2016 12:22:37 PM
User Rank
Author
11
"Jim, you left your lens cap on."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/22/2016 12:25:08 PM
User Rank
Author
100
"So, any ideas on how we can reduce our bandwidth usage?"

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/22/2016 12:28:56 PM
User Rank
Author
101
"Don't worry about the picture being fuzzy.  I didn't shave this morning."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/22/2016 12:41:31 PM
User Rank
Author
110
"Everybody, please make sure you pan around a lot so the motion detectors won't turn the lights off."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/22/2016 12:43:21 PM
User Rank
Author
111
"I think we need to rework our work-from-home policy."

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faryl
faryl
8/23/2016 5:44:22 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Not a viable business model
For the last time, no - we cannot "just fix it in post-production"

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faryl
faryl
8/23/2016 5:46:44 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Not a viable business model
"Fixing it in post-production" is *not* a viable business strategy"

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faryl
faryl
8/23/2016 5:49:40 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Morale Issues
Lately I've been getting the sense that everyone isn't fully present at these status meetings.

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faryl
faryl
8/23/2016 6:11:21 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Promoting from within
Everyone, please welcome our newest team member, Bob. He may look familiar to you, as he used to be in security, posted by the lobby entrance.

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mhhf1ve
mhhf1ve
8/22/2016 2:24:47 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Caption E
"You'll find that working here will require a lot of face-to-face interactions.. well, except for this meeting."

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Michelle
Michelle
8/24/2016 12:57:32 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Virtual Absence Device
Um, I was told the head of video would be at this meeting...

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Michelle
Michelle
8/24/2016 1:00:42 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Telework Scheduling
Our first order of business today will be to sort out the telecommuting schedule.

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mpouraryan
mpouraryan
8/24/2016 5:08:18 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Telework Scheduling
Good one--"telecommuting"!! :) :) 

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freehe
freehe
8/27/2016 4:51:24 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Entry #2
Pretending to be present at a meeting even when you are not!


 

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faryl
faryl
8/31/2016 11:36:04 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Entry #2
I had a manager who used to gauge how many hours we worked by checking to see who was logged into yahoo messenger. Granted, this was before smart phones, so you needed to be by a computer to be able to respond quickly, if she sent a message - but it was still a pretty easy way to give the impression (aka "pretend") that one was working while making dinner or watching TV :)

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mhhf1ve
mhhf1ve
8/24/2016 3:39:23 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Caption F
"To answer your question: Yes, we *could* have done this meeting on a conference phone call... but I wanted everyone to see me in our new offices. ... Why did we get new offices when everyone telecommutes? Because we're a real business!"

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jbtombes
jbtombes
8/24/2016 4:42:37 PM
User Rank
Platinum
never mind the kleenex box...
"D'arcy, could you bring in some lens wipes?"

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jbtombes
jbtombes
8/24/2016 4:44:14 PM
User Rank
Platinum
another satirical video
"D'arcy - Have Tripp and Tyler arrived? They were going to be joining our meeting.

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/24/2016 4:51:27 PM
User Rank
Author
1000
"As you can see, the room is virtually packed."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/24/2016 4:58:05 PM
User Rank
Author
1001
"Thanks, but I'm not sure calling me an 'above-the-line worker' qualifies as a real promotion."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/24/2016 5:01:19 PM
User Rank
Author
1010
"As you can see, we have a talent shortage."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/24/2016 5:04:41 PM
User Rank
Author
1011
"The goal today is to focus on our biggest business problems."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/24/2016 5:06:59 PM
User Rank
Author
1100
"We've had problems with people stealing furniture from the conference room."

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freehe
freehe
8/27/2016 4:50:12 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Entry #1
We have had extremely low attendance at our weekly meetings. We though this would be a better way to increase participation among employees. Please let us know your thoughts. Bill, let's start with you, what are you thinking our telepresence pilot?

http://www.telepresence24.com/2012/10/28/the-difference-between-video-conference-and-immersive-telepresence/

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/24/2016 5:10:28 PM
User Rank
Author
1101
"I'm putting you all into a team to figure out why our people are so siloed."

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freehe
freehe
8/27/2016 4:52:13 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Entry #3
It's like magic, now you see me, now you don't.


 

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jbtombes
jbtombes
8/24/2016 5:13:56 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Are those unisex buffer rooms?
"OK everyone - let's take five for a buffer break."

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freehe
freehe
8/27/2016 4:54:47 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Entry #4
What time is lunch?


 

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/26/2016 12:04:07 PM
User Rank
Author
1110
"You see why this game of Duck Duck Goose isn't working, right?"

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freehe
freehe
8/27/2016 4:55:09 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Entry #5
Where are we ordering takeout?

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Michelle
Michelle
8/26/2016 1:46:59 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Super secure
Interesting, all the new security cameras have been installed right here...

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freehe
freehe
8/27/2016 4:56:24 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Entry #6
When we get to the voting portion of the meeting, move your camera to the left to vote Yes and move your camera to the righ to vote No.

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Michelle
Michelle
8/26/2016 1:48:33 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Insert foot
I believe you're all set up with a 7-second delay for today's meeting. The boss will be arriving shortly.

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freehe
freehe
8/27/2016 4:57:15 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Entry #7
Anything you say or do is being recorded and can be held against you in a court of law.

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mpouraryan
mpouraryan
8/27/2016 5:08:16 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: Entry #7 (My Contributiion to the discourse)
My "Final" Contribution:Cant We Just Get Along...why is that so hard :) 

Cant We Just Get Along...why is that so hard :) 

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Michelle
Michelle
8/26/2016 1:49:25 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Nervous laughter
"Lively bunch today..."

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Michelle
Michelle
8/26/2016 2:21:27 PM
User Rank
Platinum
At the speed of drama
I don't care which filter you choose, please don't shoot this meeting in soap opera speed. 

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elizabethv
elizabethv
8/27/2016 8:39:28 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Lunches
I've brought you all here because someone keeps stealing my lunch. I need you to find out who that is. Right away. My wife is planning turkey on rye later this week and I will be devastated if I don't get to eat it.

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/27/2016 8:59:42 PM
User Rank
Author
1111
"Hey, don't shoot the messenger."

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elizabethv
elizabethv
8/29/2016 7:36:47 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Lens Cap
Well... I suppose I can adjust to this, but can someone please remove the lens cap from camera 3? 

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Michelle
Michelle
8/29/2016 12:58:08 PM
User Rank
Platinum
wide angle
Let's hope you dong need a wide-angle lense to view the whiteboard in today's meeting...

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:33:30 AM
User Rank
Author
10000
"When I asked to talk about my compensation, I, um, didn't mean exposure."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:37:45 AM
User Rank
Author
10001
"No, you can't screen-test a risk model, Frank."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:39:15 AM
User Rank
Author
10010
"Okay, I think we're all suffering from burnout."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:43:56 AM
User Rank
Author
10011
"Guys?  Can we please keep the crosstalk to a minimum?"

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:45:39 AM
User Rank
Author
10100
"When you said you wanted to monitor my performance..."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:47:27 AM
User Rank
Author
10101
"I'm glad we were able to come to a resolution."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:49:58 AM
User Rank
Author
10110
"We're still waiting for a clear signal from the CEO."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 1:33:59 PM
User Rank
Author
10111
"I feel overdressed."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 1:37:45 PM
User Rank
Author
11000
"Can somebody tell Bill his red light isn't on?"

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Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 2:46:18 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: 11000
Good one (for the 1000th time)! :)

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Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 2:47:03 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Resolution
Does my tie look pixelated to you?

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Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 2:48:15 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Everyone
Please, no zooming sounds during today's meeting.

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Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 2:50:32 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Closer
Please pan and zoom to get a good look at the fresh paint on the walls. 

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mhhf1ve
mhhf1ve
8/30/2016 2:58:34 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Caption G
"We're going to be using Slack for our official messaging during this meeting, but I know most of you will be using Snapchat as a backchannel." 

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 7:40:03 PM
User Rank
Author
11001
"Please...be kind with your filters."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 7:41:02 PM
User Rank
Author
11010
"Ironically, we're still waiting for our receptionist."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:05:35 PM
User Rank
Author
11011
"I'm a big picture guy."

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:44:58 PM
User Rank
Author
11100
"Welcome to Interpersonal Communication 101."

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Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 11:50:48 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Re: 11100
Welcome to Impersonal Communication 5550. Please face your lenses toward the front of the room.

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Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/30/2016 10:49:29 PM
User Rank
Author
11101
"Cheese!"

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Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 11:55:49 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Non-tele-present
I see some of you are joining us from conference room 2. 

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Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 11:57:19 PM
User Rank
Platinum
memo
I can see the all-digital workflow applies to meetings too...

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Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 11:58:11 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Suits and shirts
I don't suppose any of you could recommend a good tailor.

50%
50%
Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 11:59:01 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Bright lights
I thought dual monitors were an upgrade...

50%
50%
Michelle
Michelle
8/30/2016 11:59:56 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Fast track
I'm probably overdressed for today's telepresence training meeting

50%
50%
ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/31/2016 1:42:28 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Video 'Mute'
That feature similar to mute in audio is really needed in here...

50%
50%
ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/31/2016 1:43:32 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Dress Code
Dress code is really critical for this set up.

50%
50%
ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/31/2016 1:44:45 AM
User Rank
Platinum
Meeting on Ethnic Day
Meeting on an ethnic day is going to be really interesting now...

50%
50%
ms.akkineni
ms.akkineni
8/31/2016 1:47:23 AM
User Rank
Platinum
No Facebook
I can see you, no facebook please......

50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli
Joe Stanganelli
8/31/2016 11:29:27 AM
User Rank
Author
11110
"Who farted?"

50%
50%
Michelle
Michelle
8/31/2016 4:37:01 PM
User Rank
Platinum
the unknowing
I don't really know why we still use a conference table in this room...

50%
50%
Michelle
Michelle
8/31/2016 4:38:25 PM
User Rank
Platinum
party blues
I'll be sure to decline the next office birthday party invite...

50%
50%
Michelle
Michelle
8/31/2016 9:08:36 PM
User Rank
Platinum
Hiring Humans
Thank you for your time today. I believe I'm a good candidate for the position.

50%
50%


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