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Threaded | Newest First | Oldest First
faryl
6/8/2016 10:41:02 PM User Rank Platinum
Will work for peanuts
They're not the best with customers, but they'll work for peanuts.
faryl
6/17/2016 10:40:09 PM User Rank Platinum faryl
6/17/2016 10:45:18 PM User Rank Platinum
caveat
They're perfectly safe....as long as you don't act like a banana.
faryl
6/17/2016 10:57:57 PM User Rank Platinum
Where do they go after work?
They all clock out at precisely 5:00 and then hit the monkey bars before heading home.
elizabethv
6/9/2016 7:42:50 AM User Rank Platinum
All the same
Anymore it seems like all companies are the same.... nothing but monkey business.
elizabethv
6/9/2016 7:43:39 AM User Rank Platinum
Not in a million years...
When Tim said he could train a monkey to do it, I never thought it would actually happen!
elizabethv
6/9/2016 7:45:15 AM User Rank Platinum
Figures
My friend complained about a robot replacing her job, just figures, we get replaced by apes!
batye
6/9/2016 10:16:29 AM User Rank Platinum
life
Monkey see, monkey do, but no customer service....
Ariella
6/9/2016 11:09:30 AM User Rank Author
Re: life
We're running a test to compare in-house customer service to the outsourced option. The CEO wants to outsource, so he told us to put monkeys in here.
mpouraryan
6/9/2016 12:00:58 PM User Rank Platinum Joe Stanganelli
6/9/2016 11:41:46 AM User Rank Author
1
"On the plus side, they're halfway through writing Hamlet."
Joe Stanganelli
6/9/2016 12:27:33 PM User Rank Author
2.
"I told you to hire Mac techs -- not macaque techs."
Joe Stanganelli
6/9/2016 12:40:56 PM User Rank Author
3.
"Each one tells the customer he's happy to take their call, but really he just has a banana in his pocket."
Michelle
6/9/2016 2:00:25 PM User Rank Platinum
Trouble on the line
Oh dear, we're not getting that replacement phone...are we?
Michelle
6/9/2016 2:03:14 PM User Rank Platinum
Money around
I thought the office manager was just irritated with the customer service department when she called them a bunch of noisy monkeys.
Michelle
6/9/2016 2:05:36 PM User Rank Platinum Michelle
6/9/2016 2:09:27 PM User Rank Platinum
Culture
I wonder what the IT department looks like...
DHagar
6/9/2016 2:22:14 PM User Rank Platinum
June Contest
Our new and improved Customer Service Quality Improvement Team!
elizabethv
6/9/2016 2:37:18 PM User Rank Platinum
Remember....
Remember that time you thought you were dreaming, but instead woke up and found out the Planet of the Apes was a documentary?
mhhf1ve
6/9/2016 3:27:23 PM User Rank Platinum
caption...
You'll be in charge of these guys from now on, and it's not as hard as it looks. It's actually easier than herding cats in the Sales dept.
mhhf1ve
6/9/2016 7:07:59 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: caption...
"On the bright side, they hear no evil, speak no evil and see no evil."
Joe Stanganelli
6/9/2016 3:34:59 PM User Rank Author
4.
"Our customer-experience model is still evolving."
Joe Stanganelli
6/9/2016 3:36:33 PM User Rank Author
5.
"The brainstorming meetings are the worst. They just throw things at the wall and see what sticks."
vnewman
6/9/2016 4:23:07 PM User Rank Platinum vnewman
6/9/2016 4:23:42 PM User Rank Platinum ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 7:36:42 AM User Rank Platinum
#1. Throw Back Time
Oh Boy, this is like an evolutionary throw back in time!
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 7:38:22 AM User Rank Platinum
#2. Cost Saving
Works for me, if the goal is cost savings not the best service............
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 7:43:21 AM User Rank Platinum
#3. Ctrl+Alt+del
No rudeness at all, it's just that Ctrl+Alt+Del key stroke can't be ruled out at times....
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 7:46:24 AM User Rank Platinum ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 7:47:50 AM User Rank Platinum
#5. Communication
Time to pick up bunch of different communication styles.....an additional skill.
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 7:49:07 AM User Rank Platinum
#6. Interpreter
Interpreters are going to be high in demand with this route !!!
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 7:50:30 AM User Rank Platinum
#7. Customer Training
Do customers now need training...to deal with this new era????
Joe Stanganelli
6/10/2016 8:21:09 AM User Rank Author
6.
"When I asked you to measure customer satisfaction with SurveyMonkey..."
Joe Stanganelli
6/10/2016 9:39:00 AM User Rank Author
7.
"We're testing our new customer-relations initiative before exposing it to humans."
Joe Stanganelli
6/10/2016 9:41:07 AM User Rank Author
8.
"They, um, need to go back to sexual-harassment prevention training."
Mike Robuck
6/10/2016 3:02:31 PM User Rank Author
Pavlov's monkeys
"They get a banana every time they type 'no.'"
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 11:21:51 PM User Rank Platinum
#8. Wrong Address
Oops...did we get to the wrong address?
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 11:25:54 PM User Rank Platinum
#9. Pure
All pureness in the service....Just little silliness overloaded at times !!!
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 11:27:56 PM User Rank Platinum
#10. Trend
Trend is circular, Just being proven now....
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 11:30:46 PM User Rank Platinum ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 11:34:29 PM User Rank Platinum
#12. Pilot
A pilot run of new approach in customer service space....
ms.akkineni
6/10/2016 11:38:36 PM User Rank Platinum
#13. Nothing Else
is proven to make a diffreence, so travelling back in time.........
ms.akkineni
6/11/2016 9:03:02 AM User Rank Platinum
# 14. Us
Hmm...Nostaligic, That's us...in our ancient times.
Joe Stanganelli
6/11/2016 11:40:46 PM User Rank Author
(I lost count)
"These H1B visa expansions are getting out of hand."
Joe Stanganelli
6/11/2016 11:42:17 PM User Rank Author Joe Stanganelli
6/11/2016 11:50:14 PM User Rank Author
11.
"This is nothing compared to the jackasses in the marketing department."
Joe Stanganelli
6/11/2016 11:53:34 PM User Rank Author
12.
"You're the one who told HR the job is so simple a monkey could do it."
Joe Stanganelli
6/12/2016 12:10:53 AM User Rank Author Joe Stanganelli
6/12/2016 12:12:45 AM User Rank Author
14.
"The CXO wants us to make it harder for callers to reach a human being."
Joe Stanganelli
6/12/2016 12:16:17 AM User Rank Author
15.
"It's a false savings; janitorial expenses are way up."
Joe Stanganelli
6/12/2016 12:25:57 AM User Rank Author
16.
"The important thing is that they don't have much of an accent."
mpouraryan
6/13/2016 1:40:13 AM User Rank Platinum
Re: 16.
Everyone is clearly on a "roll"--so I thought to help further, break the ice, share one more contribuiton: "No wonder we can't get an answer.....time for a change..."
batye
6/13/2016 4:10:28 AM User Rank Platinum
cheaper than mate
primate is always cheaper than human CSR....
Joe Stanganelli
6/13/2016 8:27:36 AM User Rank Author Joe Stanganelli
6/13/2016 8:28:53 AM User Rank Author
18.
"I'm having a hard time relating to our new Millennial employees."
Joe Stanganelli
6/13/2016 8:40:58 AM User Rank Author
19.
"Admittedly, they don't look much like the customer service rep pictured on our website."
Joe Stanganelli
6/13/2016 8:43:23 AM User Rank Author
20.
"You think this is crazy? Their salary is just bananas."
mhhf1ve
6/13/2016 6:24:19 PM User Rank Platinum
caption..
"Surprisingly, the feedback from customers actually indicates our CSRs have improved since this change..."
mhhf1ve
6/13/2016 6:26:15 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: caption..
"At least, these employees don't waste a lot of time surfing the internet..."
mhhf1ve
6/13/2016 6:27:32 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: caption..
"They're doing so well that we're thinking of increasing their banana incentives..."
mhhf1ve
6/13/2016 6:29:45 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: caption..
"Our company sells bananas, so someone thought it'd be a good idea to get some subject matter experts in here."
mhhf1ve
6/14/2016 3:21:31 AM User Rank Platinum
Re: caption..
"There's a proverb that we take very seriously: 'Not my circus, not my monkeys'..."
Joe Stanganelli
6/14/2016 5:41:12 AM User Rank Author
22.
"They're pretty smart. I hear they all used to work for NASA."
Joe Stanganelli
6/14/2016 5:46:35 AM User Rank Author
23.
"It's just for show. Exposing them to our actual customers would be inhumane."
Joe Stanganelli
6/14/2016 5:48:54 AM User Rank Author
24.
"This job got a lot more rewarding once I realized I hate the people who buy our products."
Joe Stanganelli
6/14/2016 5:50:56 AM User Rank Author mhhf1ve
6/14/2016 3:18:21 PM User Rank Platinum
caption...
"Does it makes sense now? We never get any customer complaints anymore...."
mhhf1ve
6/14/2016 3:20:23 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: caption...
"We used to have a strict dress code, but some folks took the 'monkey suit' too literally"
mhhf1ve
6/15/2016 5:16:59 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: caption...
"If you'd like a standing desk, I'm sure one of the chimps won't mind giving one up..."
Joe Stanganelli
6/15/2016 12:07:07 PM User Rank Author
26.
"It's a stop-gap measure while we deal with the tech talent shortage."
Joe Stanganelli
6/15/2016 12:08:20 PM User Rank Author Joe Stanganelli
6/15/2016 12:09:58 PM User Rank Author
28.
"That's Marvin. We need you to train him for two weeks before he replaces you."
Joe Stanganelli
6/15/2016 12:13:35 PM User Rank Author
29.
"Here's where people get connected if they press 8."
Joe Stanganelli
6/16/2016 8:51:09 AM User Rank Author JohnBarnes
6/18/2016 12:41:35 AM User Rank Platinum
caption 1
So that when customers call in demanding to know what kind of monkeys work here, we can just show them.
JohnBarnes
6/18/2016 12:47:43 AM User Rank Platinum
Caption 2
You'd be training to replace Pongo, in the front corner, as alpha male and role model, when he retires next year. Of course you might have to fight Bobo or Snickers for the position, but if you do get it, you get fresh fruit, extra kibble, and your choice of mates.
JohnBarnes
6/18/2016 12:52:22 AM User Rank Platinum
Caption 3
Here at the Bureau of Metaphoric Standards, we expect every study participant to complete a full report. Based on their answers so far, we're thinking the kilobarrel may be too small a unit of fun.
afwriter
6/18/2016 10:34:31 PM User Rank Platinum
Legal
If you think that's bad you should see the sharks in the legal department.
afwriter
6/18/2016 10:36:53 PM User Rank Platinum
Production
Production has actually tripled since we hired these guys.
Joe Stanganelli
6/19/2016 12:23:34 PM User Rank Author
31.
"You could downsize them, but shooting them is much less paperwork."
Joe Stanganelli
6/19/2016 12:24:17 PM User Rank Author Joe Stanganelli
6/19/2016 12:24:53 PM User Rank Author Joe Stanganelli
6/19/2016 12:25:55 PM User Rank Author
34. (Dave's Law of New Yorker Cartoons) (Google it.)
"I think I'm going to kill myself."
afwriter
6/20/2016 12:12:19 AM User Rank Platinum
Monkey Business
Around here we actually encourage monkey business.
Joe Stanganelli
6/20/2016 7:43:45 AM User Rank Author
35.
"Our call-center workers couldn't handle the monkeys on their backs, so we figured..."
Joe Stanganelli
6/20/2016 8:01:14 AM User Rank Author
36.
"They can communicate with our screeching customers better than humans can."
Joe Stanganelli
6/20/2016 8:02:41 AM User Rank Author
37.
"So then I thought, 'Why not hire a bunch of monkeys for our customer service department?'"
Joe Stanganelli
6/20/2016 8:27:07 AM User Rank Author
38.
"This is Bonobos. How else would we staff our customer service department?"
Joe Stanganelli
6/20/2016 8:29:47 AM User Rank Author mpouraryan
6/21/2016 2:06:30 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: 39.
You're on a roll now @Joe...this one is a realllllllllllllllly good one!!
mpouraryan
6/22/2016 3:48:23 AM User Rank Platinum
Re: 39.
Wow....and I thought I had problems @ the Office :)
freehe
6/22/2016 7:41:46 AM User Rank Platinum
Submission 1
Joe I told you the office must be run by monkeys, now do you believe me!!!!
freehe
6/22/2016 7:42:16 AM User Rank Platinum
Submission 2
The customer service office is run like a zoo!
Joe Stanganelli
6/24/2016 11:24:09 AM User Rank Author
40.
"They're rescues from the procurement department."
Michelle
6/24/2016 11:45:41 AM User Rank Platinum
Re: 40.
@Joe you've clearly won the June contest with this one (and the other 30+ you submitted).
:D Mike Robuck
6/24/2016 12:06:48 PM User Rank Author Joe Stanganelli
6/24/2016 11:24:55 AM User Rank Author
41.
"Are we the only ones who didn't dress up for Halloween?"
Joe Stanganelli
6/24/2016 11:26:46 AM User Rank Author
42. (I don't expect this to win, and it's terrible, but I can't resist the pun.)
"Look at me. I'm the capuchin now."
Joe Stanganelli
6/24/2016 11:32:29 AM User Rank Author
43.
"They can navigate our customer-support decision trees pretty easily."
ms.akkineni
6/24/2016 11:40:07 AM User Rank Platinum
# 15. Smart Age
Smart Age...Smart Monkeys using Smart Systems....targeting Smart Service !!!
ms.akkineni
6/24/2016 11:41:07 AM User Rank Platinum
# 16. Satisfaction
It's all about customer satisfaction, whatever works...We just try.
ms.akkineni
6/24/2016 12:00:19 PM User Rank Platinum
#17. Trained
Our staff is well trained. Ofcourse they are smart enough to tweak the script not to sound too robotic !!!
Michelle
6/24/2016 12:22:05 PM User Rank Platinum Michelle
6/24/2016 12:24:31 PM User Rank Platinum
Performance
"End of month performance reports are off the charts (and littered all over the place)."
Michelle
6/24/2016 12:27:21 PM User Rank Platinum
The incentive hypothosis
"Unlimited office snacks turned these guys into a bunch of animals."
Michelle
6/24/2016 12:29:43 PM User Rank Platinum
Task list tales
"Friday productivity was down in all departments until we hired this crew."
Mike Robuck
6/24/2016 12:30:29 PM User Rank Author Michelle
6/30/2016 5:45:16 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: Task list tales
@Mike will we be voting for the winner this time around?
Joe Stanganelli
6/25/2016 2:23:20 PM User Rank Author
44.
"You're the one who wanted to save money on the call center."
Joe Stanganelli
6/25/2016 2:26:47 PM User Rank Author Michelle
6/28/2016 2:23:13 PM User Rank Platinum
Customer polling
Customer polling revealed a distinct preference for these guys over an automated system.
JohnBarnes
6/29/2016 11:17:35 PM User Rank Platinum
Caption 4
Most of the time they act like they're just playing and socializing. Then all of a sudden they concentrate and do something amazing. And then again now and then some manager does something nobody thought mattered, and they all start screaming and flinging poo. So, you know, it's like any other dev shop.
JohnBarnes
6/29/2016 11:32:25 PM User Rank Platinum
Caption 5
"So I was thinking about lifestyle and workstyle, just kind of spitballing, and I was listening to Jonathan Coulton's Code Monkey, and all of a sudden I thought, everything wrong with the code monkey is the human parts, and, well, what the hell?"
drmrs63465
6/30/2016 11:37:23 AM User Rank Silver
Cartoon Caption Contest (June 2016)
The world really is a jungle out there, and often needs "primitive" answers!
Michelle
6/30/2016 8:37:12 PM User Rank Platinum Michelle
6/30/2016 8:38:50 PM User Rank Platinum
Unreal
I thought management was using a metaphor when they called this group a bunch of monkeys.
elizabethv
6/30/2016 9:58:55 PM User Rank Platinum
Bananas
I swear one of them keeps eating the banana out of my lunch.
elizabethv
6/30/2016 10:00:52 PM User Rank Platinum
Management
The boss says they're cheaper, but he's not the one that has to work with them! They make more mistakes than a barrel of monkeys!
elizabethv
6/30/2016 10:02:17 PM User Rank Platinum
Tie
"Do you think we could try to string them all together, hand to foot? We can count who has the most? Winner goes to lunch first."
"We can try, but you know they won't agree to stay still for this." elizabethv
6/30/2016 10:05:00 PM User Rank Platinum ms.akkineni
6/30/2016 11:39:51 PM User Rank Platinum
# 15. around the clock
With this chage our support is around the clock and by all means.
mhhf1ve
7/14/2016 5:56:39 PM User Rank Platinum
Just an honor to be nominated...
THANKS! WOO HOO! A round of virtual drinks for everyone!
Ariella
7/15/2016 9:20:40 AM User Rank Author
Re: Just an honor to be nominated...
@mhhf1ve and a virtual toast
Michelle
7/15/2016 2:47:17 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: Just an honor to be nominated...
Congratulations! You've unseated Joe, the master captionist. :)
Joe Stanganelli
7/15/2016 5:11:45 PM User Rank Author
Re: Just an honor to be nominated...
If I had known the judge was going to be ten years old, I'm not so sure I'd have submitted #3 or #8! :/
#3: http://www.telcotransformation.com/messages.asp?piddl_msgthreadid=64508&piddl_msgid=207539#msg_207539 #8: http://www.telcotransformation.com/messages.asp?piddl_msgthreadid=64508&piddl_msgid=207595#msg_207595 Mike Robuck
7/15/2016 5:56:57 PM User Rank Author
Re: Just an honor to be nominated...
She picked the three winners out of about 8 that John Klossner had selected as the best. There was one I really liked that she didn't pick but I stuck with her choices.
faryl
7/17/2016 5:28:30 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: Just an honor to be nominated...
Thank you!!!! Your daughter has a great sense of humor :)
Joe Stanganelli
7/15/2016 5:09:02 PM User Rank Author
Congrats
Congratulations to mhhf1ve and to faryl!
Personally, one of my favorites was the very first caption submitted -- by faryl, here: http://www.telcotransformation.com/messages.asp?piddl_msgthreadid=64508&piddl_msgid=207509#msg_207509 elizabethv
7/16/2016 6:21:06 AM User Rank Platinum
Congrats
Congrats mhhf1ve! I'm sure most employers would at least appreciate that aspect of employing monkeys. Lol.
mpouraryan
7/17/2016 3:23:19 PM User Rank Platinum
Re: Congrats
I add my congratulations and best wishes--it is fun to be witness to such creativity. :)
batye
7/21/2016 10:28:25 AM User Rank Platinum dchampagne70
12/31/2016 9:14:43 PM User Rank Silver
Congrats....
I wanted to take a minute to say congratulations to the winner. I think the companies would have really loved hiring monkeys. Even some companies might say they have some employees that could pass as monkeys,
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